ONE RINGING BELL HEADQUARTERS—Late this evening the staff at HQ released this bulletin:
WANTED –FAMILIES FOR FOUR KITTENS
(Think nanny letter from Mary Poppins)
If you would aspire to this undertaking
Have a kind heart, please no faking.
Fancy Feast, many cases.
Scratching posts, lots of places.
You have to hold, you must caress;
If in your bed, it would so bless.
Keep in house, not ever outside.
For love, we’ll ride.
Never take us to the pound,
Make us live with hamsters or ten hounds.
Treat us as a member of the family,
And we will always love you unabashedly.
Please don’t yell or subjugate us,
And we won’t give you reason to crate us.
Your turkey legs at Thanksgiving, we won’t steal.
Your packages at Christmastime, we won’t peel.
From the triplets and tuxedo,
Eloise, Carl, Sara, and Wilbur Varnado.