When I decided to post every day in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I knew it would be a challenge, but didn’t know exactly how much of a challenge. Oh, I have plenty I could say. In fact, I have many articles I’ve already written about my experience with cancer that I’ve not posted here. But, they’re so personal; it’s hard to share some of them. I’ve sat here for a long time tonight praying, after already having written one article and chosen not to use it. Finally, I’ve decided to share just a snippet from something I wrote ten years ago.
The night before the mastectomy in 2000, I stayed up late washing clothes, and taking care of details in preparation for my hospital stay. At one in the morning, I wrote these words in my journal: “Tonight, I say good-bye to a part of my body that God allowed me to have during the time of my life in which it was created to perform--at this breast I have nursed my two precious children. I’m grateful for that, but I weep over the loss of its familiar look. Nursing babies is most likely behind me now. A new part of my life is before me. I continue to trust that God has a purpose greater than anything I can imagine. I give Him my life, this night, once more.”
I went to bed that night having completely given my life and body into his hands. I don’t suppose I could have even imagined at that time that part of God's greater purpose would be sharing the words I’d written that evening with people all over the world. I share them now as a testament to God’s care over me these past ten years and to show the dreams he planted in my heart, he is bringing to pass.
When I left for surgery the next morning I found a verse on the windshield left there by a precious family in our neighborhood. “They cried out to God during the battle, and He answered their prayers, because they trusted in Him.”I Chronicles 5:20. I held on to that verse, and didn’t let go of it until after I’d already been given a sedative for the surgery. My hands relaxed and my husband slipped the verse out of my hand. I still have it.
Yes, God heard my prayers and the prayers of many others. Gratitude wells within me that he's allowed me all these years to serve and love Him and to share with you.
I am incredibly blessed.