We
all do it at one time or another.
The
child blames himself when parents divorce. “If I hadn’t messed up and been
a better kid, maybe Mom and Dad wouldn’t have…”
Moms
and Dads blame themselves when a child chooses poorly. “Oh, if we’d only prayed
a little harder, talked about faith in Jesus more…”
All
kinds of different circumstances gone awry can cause us to lay the blame at our
own feet again and again and again, until this fruitless self-blame is almost
an addiction.
I
know. I’ve done it.
I
came across an excellent article recently by an author who writes anonymously in order to protect a family member. She says “…if we are to extend grace, as
Christ did, we must also experience death. As parents, we need to die to our
dreams, our desires, and our expectations for our children. We need to love
them unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. “
We need to die
to extend grace.
Die to believing it should be different. Die to wondering where we went wrong. Die to thinking we’re owed something for all we’ve invested.
“In
death he (Jesus) glorified Him: through death He was glorified with Him. It is
by dying, being dead to self, and living to God, that we can glorify Him. And
this--this death to self, this life to the glory of God—is what Jesus gives and
lives in each one who can trust Him for it. Let nothing less than these—the desire,
the decision to live only for the glory of the Father, even as Christ did; the
acceptance of Him with His life and strength working it in us; the joyful
assurance that we can live to the glory of God, because Christ lives in us;
--let this be the spirit of our daily life.” With Christ in the School of
Prayer, Lesson Twenty, Andrew Murray
When
we can’t stop blaming ourselves, Christ in us can. He gives us the strength to stop
making it all about us and refocus our lives for His glory.
“…Christ
in you, the hope of glory"(Colossians 1:27).