Due to the sudden onset of symptoms, for twelve out of the last twenty-four hours I faced the possibility that I might be headed for serious vision loss. Aware of something peculiar in my vision late yesterday, when I turned out the lights last night, peculiar threatened to turn into panic when what seemed to be neon lights flashed in my right eye. A retinal tear or detachment loomed as a possibility.
I couldn’t rest and descended downstairs to read, to find a quiet place with Jesus. Without even realizing it, I found myself reciting Psalm 46 aloud:
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, thought the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea…”
One of my favorite verses in that Psalm is this one: “God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”
I thought of all the things I do which wouldn’t be possible without my sight. Well, yes, it was just the one eye, but I'm a little selfish, I'd like to keep both the windows to my soul.
It’s true that those without vision often see the world better than those who have 20/20 eyesight. I think of Fanny Crosby’s testimony, “Perfect submission, perfect delight, visions of rapture now burst on my sight…Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine…” And I thought of several friends and family who live everyday with failing eyesight.
No one signs up for that road, but God’s grace and mercy are undeniable in blind Fanny Crosby’s work and in the lives of many I know who daily and bravely face the possibility of a future without vision.
As I sought peace, I came to those last few verses in Psalm 46, “Be still, and know that I am God…”
I returned to bed,put in my ear buds and listened to several songs, but this one in particular blessed me so. In the midst of any trouble we’re in, declaring our love and praise to God helps take our eyes off our problems and ourselves and put them on the only One who is good. Finally, resting in his care, I drifted off to sleep.
This morning, I’m sure I had to be one of the first callers to my doctor’s office. When I told the receptionist about the flashing lights, she asked how fast I could get there. I assured her I’d be there in five minutes. Never thought I’d look forward to getting my eyes dilated.
It turns out there was no evidence of a retinal tear, and the symptoms I’m experiencing seem to be due to changes in the vitreous gel in the eye.
Thank you, Jesus.
The flashing lights might take months to abate, but I’m not complaining.
It turns out that God within me did indeed help me “…at break of day…”
Right now, I’m watching a Brown Headed Nuthatch (currently on watch lists) arriving for the suet just outside my office window, and I’m giving thanks for the very sight of him.
|Brown Headed Nuthatch|