Judging and 3 Ways To Avoid Doing It

Photo Credit Aaron Varnado

One of the discussion questions you’ll find in my book, In Search of the Painted Bunting, is “Why is it hard to stop judging people?”

My main character, Cornelia, really has an issue with this. It almost seems like she can’t help herself. Like when Paul said, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:18-19).

Oh, yes.

I think we’ve all lived that verse out. The reason it’s hard to stop judging is we don’t have the power to do this apart from the grace of God in Jesus. We often forget that when others receive the scorn of our judgment, they sense God feels that way about them as well. Instead of helping others to find God, we push them away.

So here are three suggestions to help keep us from being judgmental toward others.

Pray about it. Ask the Lord to give us His heart towards another and allow His grace to reach out to others through us.

Realize we don’t have all the facts. Sometimes, we give a sideways glance to someone, and we don’t have a clue what they’re going through. In fact, if we were put in their shoes, we might not do as well as they’re doing. We need to remember we only see in part.

Remember that it is only by the grace and mercy of God that we are in right standing with the Lord. Proverbs 9:10 reads, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom . . .” A conscious walking in the fear of the Lord keeps us from making harsh judgments toward others because we realize that but for the grace of God, we too could be in that situation.

I recently had the opportunity to speak with someone who was dealing with many difficulties, and this person had dared to put themselves in an environment where there was a potential for them to be judged. But they weren’t. Instead, they received the love of the Lord which left them with hope and seeking the Lord even more.

I know in my own life, it has been those who offered compassion rather than judgement that helped me the most. And when we feel judged, there’s a natural tendency to want to hide, but if we hold our heads up and continue with our lives in the grace of God despite the disparagement of others, we may give others inspiration to do the same.

So, here we go, calling on the Lord to help us do what we can’t do ourselves. May his mercy flow.

 And if you haven't read In Search of the Painted Bunting, my middle grade historical (but really a story anyone can enjoy), please click HERE. Thank you. I am honored that you choose to spend a part of your day here. Blessings.  


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